Felix Brandon Lloyd knows the impact that a father’s presence can have on a child, which is why he regularly makes time to read with his children and supports the #DadsRead campaign.
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The days building our company Zoobean, which is co-sponsoring the #DadsRead campaign, can get the best of me. So, I admit, can be sort of slick in how I get my kids to choose their bedtime books—preferably a “not too long” one that takes us into a world where everything is bright and sunny.
Last week, the book that I pushed to the top of the stack was Big Mean Mike by Michelle Knudsen and Scott Magoon. My son seldom if ever objects to Big Mean Mike, after all. And, on this night, it also got the nod from his two year-old sister, who is presently most interested in a book that plays this little ice cream truck ditty (over and over and over again).
The scene was set. My daughter took her place intently in my lap as we sat on the floor. My son stood beside us, an angle from which he could get a good look at the pages. I read out loud.
More accurately, I recited the words on the page while my mind drifted elsewhere. I think it had something to do with an e-mail or two—always an email or two. Meanwhile, it wasn’t long before my daughter moved away in search of a better situation. My son’s eyes roamed, drifting away from the pages toward a set of Legos scattered in the corner.
Whether out loud or otherwise, I don’t remember ever reading a single book with my father. He made a point of telling me that he was very present during the first two years of my life and that our time together then stayed on my psyche. Probably so. Maybe. I am sure that he read to me at some point early on. I’m equally sure that he didn’t read with me during my toddler years and after.
Thing is, I turned out “fine” so to speak. While the stats show that kids whose dads are more involved are more likely to do well in school, I was always a good student. In fact, I went on to study English literature and fiction writing in graduate school where the collection of stories I wrote were invariably about my father. There are a bagful of memories that I do have with him and those have taken on outsized meaning. In many ways, my father’s absence played a pivotal role in my life.
So, maybe I think my kids are lucky. I do. They are growing up at a time when fathers are much more active and present than was true for me and many of my childhood friends. But I also recognize my own good fortune. Whether my father read to me or not, here I am with the opportunity to do better for my own children. And I recognize the impact that my presence, or absence, will make now and years ahead.
This night, I turn to my son. “What do you think will happen next?” I ask. He looks back to me, taking it in. We’ve read this book “one hundred thousand million” times. He knows. Of course, he knows.
“Another bunny is coming,” he tells me. “One, two, three…” He holds up four fingers. Then he makes a sound. “Grrr…” the growl of the fourth bunny. And I make it back, bigger. “Grrrrrr!” The exclamation point is what brings back my daughter. She wants in on the action.
As planned and plotted from the start, we finished Big Mean Mike in no time. But then we kept it going. My son selected The Wreck of the Zephyr. My daughter picks up I Know A Lot, and then we close it out with, I Am An Ice Cream Truck. We did a little dance to the ditty.
I read to my children because this is our story. The #DadsRead project has made me more aware of the data to back us up. Along with being good students, children whose dads read to them are more likely to participate in activities outside of school and generally become well-rounded citizens. That matters. These are the kind of stats that we can count on.
Then there’s that something extra. The memories and feelings I can’t anticipate but know will be there for my own children. For me, that’s what’s most important and worth being excited about.
The post Telling Our Story: Why It Matters That #DadsRead appeared first on The Good Men Project.